‘I’ve got six steps to effectively stop whinging and lead a happier life’

Whinging is fun. You arise in the morning and moan all day, while wearing a glum expression on your face. But that does not do any good at all for anyone you come in contact with, especially yourself.

It is easy to be sidetracked into negativity. Some experts suggest that you write a daily to-do list of positive plans before you head off to bed. Even better, I suggest writing a ‘not-to-do’ list. You can prop it next to you on your bedside table as you wake up.

What can you write on a not-to-do list? Here are some simple suggestions …

Don’t worry. Plan each day, but be flexible. Try not to worry too much about the future, until it actually happens. Sometimes you can imagine the worst-case scenario, then consider how you can manage it. Then try to push it out of your mind, and enjoy each day as it happens. For example, visualise what you would do if someone in your household collapsed for any reason. You would need to phone Triple 0, with a note of the person’s medications on-hand. Prepare for that, then hope it does not happen today.

Or your car might not start one day, so your plan is to call roadside assist, making sure their bill is always up-to-date, and make a friend of your local mechanic. You shall manage, so don’t worry.

Don’t hurry. Often even retired people feel the need to get everything done hastily. But there is no need to hurry. There is a lot to be said for pacing yourself. Every now and then, sit down and just focus on breathing. It is quite okay to relax, and appreciate little things, like watching a bird in the garden or gaze at flowers. Take some chill pills and don’t hurry.

Don’t give up smiling. “Smiling is infectious and free!” Yes, the best things in life are free, such as a smile. If you keep on smiling in the face of negativity, you can make the world a better place. You never know who will smile back at you. Smiling is better than being a grump. Turn any frowns upside down!

Don’t give up faith. You don’t have to be religious, so don’t take this not-to-do the wrong way. You can have faith in anything or anyone, including yourself and your own abilities to handle ‘stuff’.

Don’t take any notice of negative Norma or Norman. This takes a lot of practice. Some people like to push your buttons. Respond with a smile and walk away. Avoid contact with such toxic behaviours. This can happen in any social situation.

Don’t get into dumb arguments. This is also hard. Some people thrive on melodramas over ‘stuff’ which, quite simply, shall not even matter in say, five years’ time, 50 years’ time, a 1,000 years’ time. Thus you keep a sense of perspective, avoiding conflict.

Even if you have to bite your tongue, it is better than engaging in dumb arguments. Life is too short, so accentuate your own positives. You can just comment, “That’ll keep me going till the next dump!” And smile.

These are only some ideas for a not-to-do list. Write your own, and roll all the negatives into positive vibes for yourself and others, especially in your household, and your wider world. Yes, whinging is so much fun, but it is no good for anyone!

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