After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics worker.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.
“That’s a bit much,” said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.
“That’s still quite a bit,” Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the worker brought out a tiny $15 bottle.
“What I mean,” said Tim with a sigh. “Is that I’d like to see something really cheap.”
The worker handed him a mirror.
Two men were working at the sawmill and one guy got too close to the saw and cut his ear off. It fell in the sawdust pit so he jumped down into the pit and was hunting around trying to find it.
The second guy saw him and hollered down: “What’re you doing?”
The first man said that he had cut off his ear and was looking for it.
The second guy said he would help out and jumped in the pit. He was searching around on his hands and knees and then hollered: “I found it!”
The first guy took it and examined it closely, then said: “Keep looking. Mine had a pencil behind it.”
A diner was agitated that the waiter had brought him no spoon with his coffee. “This coffee,” he said loud enough for most of the other patrons to hear, “is going to be pretty hot to stir with my fingers.”
The waiter reddened, made a hasty retreat to the kitchen and returned shortly with another cup of coffee.
“This one isn’t so hot, sir!” he beamed.