‘Pain of estrangement has left me feeling nothing towards my unborn grandchild’

A devastated gran said she is struggling to feel any joy about the upcoming arrival of her new grandchild after being cut off from her other grandkids. Source: Getty

The thought of welcoming a new grandchild to the world usually brings people joy, but one concerned gran has now received a huge response online after admitting she’s not looking forward to welcoming her unborn grandchild – all because she’s been cut off from her other grandkids.

“We were good, kind, loving, caring and generous GPs [grandparents], yet our best, it seems, wasn’t enough and we have been shut out completely,” she wrote.

“We found out a few weeks ago that we are yet to be GPS [grandparents] again (different adult child) but I just feel nothing. I have no interest. I haven’t even shared the news. Before I would have been excitedly buying all sorts, telling everyone, chattering away and looking forward.

“This time I find I’m having to literally force myself to smile and try and sound like I care. I sound so nasty, I know.”

Concerned with her lack of feelings for the soon-to-be-born bub, the gran said while she wants to be happy about the news, it’s not that easy.

“I feel sad for the GC [grandchildren] we have ‘lost’ and I feel sad for the GC [grandchild] yet to come,” she continued. “I have been damaged by what has happened and I want to feel happy, but it’s just not there.”

Her heartbreaking call for help was met with much support from fellow grandparents who advised the gran not to worry so much and let the feelings develop naturally over time.

For the most part, fellow forum users claimed it was perfectly normal to feel a little uneasy about the upcoming arrival of the baby, especially considering her current situation with the other grandkids.

“Try not to worry so much about this,” one person wrote. “On one hand you are trying to protect yourself from being hurt again, on the other it’s the joy of a new grandchild.”

Another added: “It will happen if you relax, don’t try to force feelings. Think about ways you can help without becoming over involved. As the birth gets closer you will feel differently I’m sure.”

While a third said: “Just go with the flow, but, and this is a big ‘but’, make a huge effort to sound happy and say all the right things when speaking to the parents-to-be, even if you have to go into acting mode. If they pick up on your feelings, they will undoubtedly be upset and that would not bode well for the future.”

Having read through the kind comments, the gran thanked other for their support and said she would do her best to ease her worrying thoughts.

“I did feign happiness when they told me and have tried when I’ve seen them, but it’s all fake and I feel bad as it is going to be our GC,” she added.

“I’m out shopping tomorrow and I’ll buy a little gift. I still get upset in the baby section thinking of the other GC (still very young and one only 10 months old the last time we saw them), but I’ll take a big breath and get on with it.”

Can you relate to this worried gran? What would you do if you were faced with such an issue? Have you ever been cut off from your grandkids?

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