Three men were playing golf. The course was a wicked dog-leg with a large water hazard.
The first man stepped up to the tee and hit a sharp slice into the water hazard. He walked up to the water; it parted and he lofted his ball within one foot of the hole.
The next man stepped up and hit the ball. Sure enough, he sliced it so that it landed on top of the water. He walked across the surface of the water and hit the ball within six inches of the hole.
The third man stepped up, hit the ball, and sliced it. The ball was just about to land in the water when a trout jumped out of the water and grabbed it in his mouth. An eagle swooped down, scooped up the fish, and flew off. As the eagle banked over the green, lightning struck it, it dropped the fish, the fish dropped the ball, and it landed in the hole for a hole in one.
Moses turned to Jesus and said: “I really hate playing golf with your Dad.”
A little boy in an infant class came into school and told his teacher he could spell his mum’s name.
“M-U-M,” he said proudly.
Before the teacher could congratulate him, another little boy said excitedly: “That’s how you spell my mum’s name too!”
After retiring from a busy life in business, Claire travels around the country visiting antique shops trying to find bargains.
One day she goes to an antique shop in the city. She speaks to the shop’s owner and says: “When I was in here last week I saw a big mug with a flat head that holds a lot of beer. I’d like to buy it.”
“Sorry,” replies the owner, “but I can’t possibly sell you that.”
“Oh, what a pity, but why not?” inquires Claire.
“Because,” says the owner, “That’s my husband.”