There once was an old man who was about to die. He told his wife to put a bag of money in the attic. “When I die, I’ll get it on my way up,” chuckled the old man.
When the old man died, the wife went up to the attic and found that the bag of money was still there.
“I knew I should have put that money in the cellar!” said the old woman.
A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and felt very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat shouting: “BOEING! BOEING! BOEING!”
As she yelled, she forgot where she was, and even the pilot in the cock-pit heard the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the pilot came out and shouted: “Be silent!”
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody started to look at the blonde and the angry pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting: “OEING! OEING! OEING!”
Two young bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.
“I got a cookbook once,” said one. “But I could never do anything with it.”
“Too much fancy work in it, eh?” asked the other.
“You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way … ‘Take a clean dish…'”