‘Curing all sorts of ailments using our parents’ old-fashioned remedies’

I’m all in favour of the ‘back-in-the-day’ simple home-spun remedies for simple everyday complaints but, seriously, who in their right minds blew cigarette smoke into a child’s sore ear? Who!? And why do we need that willow branch?

Apparently many folk used the sore ear remedy because … Umm … It worked. Cigarette smoke? Really?

As the Australian winter fast approaches (and, just for once, forgetting coronavirus) my little five generational afternoon kitchen table cuppa discussion turned to home remedies of all sorts (ear aches, ‘runny tummy’, headache, sore tooth, hiccups, nose bleeds etc.). Although I highly doubt the validity of some of these tonics, applications and cure-alls, (let alone some very suspect antibiotic ‘potions’), sometimes my kitchen table Brains Trust does produce the odd pearl of wisdom.

First, to the earlier generations, why so much booze? Toddies, Grannie’s homemade corn whisky cough syrup, bourbon or Guinness in milk may not be the best flu solution. As one comedienne remarked, “It won’t cure you but, by the end of the day, you won’t care.”

Replacing flu symptoms with a wretched hangover is hardly progress. However, I have it on good authority that pickle juice may be your saviour in this instance … So, you stir the pickle juice with the willow branch?

Boiling aromatic eucalyptus oil in a pot of water or sugar and lard — sugar cuts the mucus and lard soothes and coats the throat. The method goes something like this: heat lard to liquid form, put in sugar to form paste, take like cough syrup. Not in my lifetime, thanks.

My suggestion would be to stick with hot lemonade, flat ginger ale or Vicks. However, just because Great-Nana told me to, I’m adding more Old Wives Advice. (I apologise in advance if this causes upset to anyone.)

Got diarrhoea? Take 1 teaspoon of nutmeg, followed by no liquid for 30 minutes.

An upset stomach? Coke syrup. Tummy ache? Have some baking soda and water.

Worms (you, the children or grandchildren)? One teaspoon of sugar with a few drops of turpentine (turpentine!) should do the trick. (Editor’s Note: Starts at 60 does not advise the consumption of poisonous substances to treat any ailment. It’s recommended you consult with your general practitioner or health professional for qualified medical advice.)

Do you have a nose bleed? Place a piece of brown paper bag under your top lip.

A warm tea bag placed upon the infected eye is said to cure a sty.

Forget Band-Aids for your cuts and burns. Instead, burn a brown paper bag on a glass plate and then rub the brown good left behind on the cut or burn. Apparently, something in the sulphur has antiseptic properties and will hasten the healing.

General aches and pains are supposedly best treated with horse liniment. While boils can be treated by placing a piece of bread soaked in milk on the affected area and wrapping it with white gauze.

There are so many more!

Personally, I am not convinced any of the above would be effective, but I do respect the wisdom of the generations that offer their collective advice. One thing our the discussion around the kitchen table did agree on, for some children, perhaps is that Father does know best — applying a willow branch to the patient’s posterior cured many ailments.

IMPORTANT LEGAL INFO This blog is of a general nature and FYI only, because it doesn’t take into account your personal health requirements or existing medical conditions. That means it’s not personalised health advice and shouldn’t be relied upon as if it is. Before making a health-related decision, you should work out if the information is appropriate for your situation and get professional medical advice.