Some of the reasons seniors don’t have sex

Let’s talk about sex. We know that sex isn’t something that’s discussed openly among my senior friends. I guess it’s considered taboo?

But seniors are still very curious about sex, whether they’re having it or not. I hear about swing parties in The Villages in Florida, so things must be hot up there.

But for many? It just doesn’t happen as much. Here are a few reasons:

Before we start, have you finished your will?

I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten your name

You don’t bring me flowers anymore, only dirty laundry.

My vibrator does it better than you do.

Could you be a bit more gentle… I only like poligrip on my teeth.

I think I have to go to confession if we do that.

When did you get that tattoo? That’s not my name.

Is that a credit card in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Wouldn’t you rather watch The Match Game? It starts at 8 o’clock.

Don’t tell me you put the batteries in the smoke alarm!

A water bed? You know I can’t swim.

I asked for forget-me-nots, not a brain fart.

My mom just rang the doorbell.

I love that sexy Depend that you’re wearing.

Why does your dog always have to watch?

No, we’re not watching porn at the same time.

Do you want to play Marco Polo?

Sure, we can start with Spin the Bottle.

Your beard is giving me a rash.

I like this blindfold, but I’m afraid of the dark.

I’m allergic to rubber.

You should have plucked first.

Why did you put the superglue next to the Astroglide?

Did you leave your toenail clippings in the bed?