‘There’s more great Australian confectionery that needs to be brought back’
There has been so much talk recently about Australia Day and whether it should or should not be held on January 26. It is an interesting and somewhat controversial debate, far superior to my thinking. What has been on my radar and ventures me to write about it though, is the recent gripping newsflash released by Starts at 60 and various other media outlets relating to the return of the Polly Waffle, one of Australia’s favourite chocolate bars.
It has always been beyond me, how the production of this favoured snack was ever discontinued. An icon, the Polly Waffle was well liked and enjoyed by all of us Aussies. Except for those afflicted by diabetes, but don’t worry, I more-than-ate your share.
News sources indicate it will soon return, with many thanks to Australian-owned confectionery company Robern Menz and the many devoted Australian fans who campaigned for the chocolate bar’s return since production stopped 10 years ago. Even my future toy boy, all-round Aussie heartthrob, singer, best-bum in jeans and now-ex of Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban (I say “ex” as Keith and I now have a mutual connection) shared the return of the Polly Waffle on his Facebook feed.
For those too young or inexperienced to know, the Polly Waffle was originally created by an Australian and later widely produced by the Nestlé company. With its return to origin, the Polly Waffle, is to be recreated in accordance with the original Australian recipe. Rejoice patriotic citizens, rejoice!
If you have never had the pleasure of unwrapping and devouring one of these, let me share the delight. It is a cylinder-shaped bar, wrapped in purple, yellow and silver foil, with a centre full of soft but firm, sweet white marshmallow that has been wrapped in a delightfully flavoured firm, wafer biscuit. The whole cylinder bar has then been fully dipped in creamy milk-chocolate. Ooh la la. As you bite into your Polly Waffle your taste buds feel like they have been caressed in heaven, all your calorie-rich snack requirements met with sweetness, texture and creamy chocolate in each mouthful.
My memories and experience of eating Polly Waffle bars date way back to suburban movie theatres, Dromana specifically, where in my early teenage years, young boys demonstrated overtly, how to hold, unwrap and bite into (phallic size) Polly Waffles. It miffed me at first, but then I realised, these boys needed me to know they were aware, no doubt very aware, of their developing male genitalia, and perhaps I might be interested too. It did not take long for them to realise that, at 13 years of age, I was not in the least bit interested in anything phallically related to my delicious Polly Waffle.
I call all Aussies to arms, recreate your recent street marches, wave your banners and flags, show respect and adoration to Robern Menz and the supporters of this cause. I would even say chorus and chant and grant three big Australian cheers to hail the wisdom and perseverance undertaken for the return of the Polly Waffle.
While you are there, help me to take up the cause to bring back other confectionary delights. Obviously no longer a teenager and very aware of the world and how things work, I ask; ‘Who does this cougar need to sleep with?’ to start the campaign for the return of the chewy White Knight bar, the teeth-staining Choo Choo bar and my all-time favourite the Scorched Peanut Bar. After that we can work on returning Fantales and Jaffas to boxes and reviving Tex and Luncheon bars!