‘Cars are killing machines and we need to stamp out this culture of joyriding’

I’m so incensed at deranged idiots using cars as weapons and destroying lives. I’ve decided that cars are just far too easy to drive! In the hands of people on drugs, they are worse than an old tank. At least tanks went relatively slowly and noisily so you’d hear them coming. Today’s cars are super quiet, change their own gears, have power steering and tell you when the windscreen washer liquid is low. For heaven’s sake, what next?

The only thing that will save us from this horribly unnecessary loss of lives would be driverless cars. Bring it on. It’s surely got to be better than silly kids thinking they know how to drive and having the nerve to steal cars.

I remember how difficult it was to drive cars of 50 years ago. No, let’s make that 65 years ago. I learned to drive in a 1946 Chevrolet. It was very much like a tank actually. Battleship grey with no power steering, so very heavy to steer, and no magic aids for backing. It would use as much oil as petrol or so it seemed. Then at one stage I drove an early Mini where you had to double shuffle to change gears. That was indeed an art, but so satisfying.

But what about this drug-induced feeling of, “I’m king of the universe!” What are they thinking? What are they taking? What is happening in the brains of these idiots?

I think all of us are feeling distressed at the amount of senseless killings going on. We watch the news and weep. It’s enough to cope with Covid-19 and loneliness and isolation and then we have to be thinking about this loss of lives when we’re all doing our best to stop people dying unnecessarily.

What to do? Could cars have a breath gadget whereby only a breath with no alcohol or drugs could actually open the door or start the car? Just to be sure, could there be another inside so that the car won’t turn over if the person sitting in the driver’s seat fails to pass the test? I feel this could be a touchscreen test that included being able to identify a set of the car’s instruments to be able to get started. There are so many clever things out there that could help, but it seems as though we’re accepting these deaths by car.

It’s time for a change of thinking. It’s time for greater actions to stop these criminals. I’m channelling Gough Whitlam, “It’s time!”