A young man bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to the man’s house and said: “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.”
The man replied: “Well, then just give me my money back.”
The farmer said: “Can’t do that. I spent it already,” to which the man said: “Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.”
The farmer asked: “What are you going to do with him?”
The man said: “I’m going to raffle him off.”
The farmer said: “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!”
The man answered: “Sure I can, watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
A month later, the farmer met up with the man and asked: “What happened with that dead horse?”
The man said: “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars a piece and made a profit of $2,495.”
The farmer said: “Didn’t anyone complain?”
The man answered: “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back.”
A fairly average golfer was sent a ransom note saying that he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club by 10am the next day if he ever wanted to see his wife alive again.
He didn’t arrive until almost 12:30pm. A masked man stepped out from behind some bushes and growled: “What the hell took you so long? You’re over two hours late.”
“Hey! Give me a break,” whined the golfer. “I have a 27 handicap.”
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail sitting on the door step. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
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