A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realised that she didn’t have any snails for the appetisers, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with a bucket to gather some snails.
Begrudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a pub just on the corner of the road.
He kept thinking to himself: “Maybe I should just stop in for one drink”. He went back to gathering the snails.
When he was done, he headed to the pub for a drink before going home. As he sat down, in walked his friend Dave. He and Dave had another round together, and another, and another until suddenly he looked at the time and exclaimed: “Oh no! My wife’s dinner party!”
He downed his drink, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he’s been all this time.
He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said: “Come on guys, we’re almost there!”
Three friends gather together for dinner with their wives. At the dinner party the suave man asks his wife: “Pass the sugar, sugar!”
Not to be outdone, his buddy says to his own wife: “Pass the honey, honey!”
Their biker pal turns to his old lady and yells: “Pass the pork, pig!”
A family was having some people over for dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said: “Dear, would you like to say the blessing?”
“I wouldn’t know what to say,” replied the little girl, shyly.
“Just say what you hear Mummy say, sweetie,” the woman said.
Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said: “Dear Lord, why did I invite all these people to dinner?”