Starts at 60 Daily Joke: A woman is caught speeding

The policeman informs the woman that she’s speeding and demands to see her licence. Source: Pixabay

An old lady is caught speeding and is pulled over by an officer.

The policeman informs the woman that she’s speeding and demands to see her licence.

“I’d give it to you but I don’t have one,” she informs the officer. “I lost it four years ago for drink driving.”

Concerned, the officer asks to see the woman’s registration numbers.

“I can’t do that because I stole this car,” she says. “And I killed and hacked up the owner.”

Gobsmacked, the officer asks for further information.

“Well, his body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk of the car if you’d like to see,” the woman replies.

The officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car, calling for help. Within minutes, 10 police officers circle the lady’s car.

A senior officer slowly approaches the car, with a gun in his hand.

“Madam, we need you to step out of your vehicle,” he says.

The woman hops out.

“One of our officers said that you stole this car and murdered the owner.”

“Murdered the owner?” the woman says in surprise.

The senior officer asks if he can look inside the woman’s trunk. He does, but it’s empty. The officer looks at the woman puzzled. 

The woman then hands over her registration papers, which shocks the senior officer even further.

“Our officer said you didn’t have these papers or your licence,” he tells the woman.

She digs into her handbag and hands her licence over to the senior officer.

“I’m sorry about this,” the officer tells the woman. “We had to follow up because our officer said you stole the car, murdered the owner and that you didn’t have your licence or registration papers.”

The woman shoots a disgusted look at the officer.

“I bet he told you I was speeding as well,” she says.

Need another laugh? Have a look at some of our other great jokes here.

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