Freddie and John were fortunate enough to have a season ticket to watch soccer in England. They could not help noticing that there was always a spare seat next to them and they had a friend who would love to buy a season ticket, especially if all three could have seats together.
One half-time Freddie went to the ticket office and asked if they could buy the season ticket for the empty seat. The official said that unfortunately the ticket had been sold. Nevertheless, week after week the seat was still empty.
Then on Boxing day, much to Freddie and Eddie’s amazement the seat was taken for the first time that season. John could not resist asking the newcomer: “Where have you been all season?”
“Don’t ask,” he said. “My wife bought the season ticket back last summer, and kept it for a surprise Christmas present.”
A grocer put up a sign that read: “Eggplants, 25c each or three for a dollar”.
All day long, customers came in exclaiming: “Don’t be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!”
Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer: “Aren’t you going to fix the mistake on your sign?”
“What mistake?” the grocer asked. “Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant.”
The physical training instructor was drilling a platoon of soldiers.
“I want every man to lie on his back, put his legs in the air and move them as though he were riding a bicycle,” he explained. “Now begin!”
After a few minutes, one of the men stopped.
“Why did you stop, Smith?” demanded the officer.
“If you please, sir,” said Smith. “I’m freewheeling for a while.”