Three old ladies meet on the street on a very stormy day. The wind is so strong and loud that they have difficulty in hearing each other.
“It’s windy,” says one.
“No, it’s Thursday,” says the next.
“So am I,” says the third. “Let’s go and have a drink!”
A man takes his place in the theatre, but his seat is too far from the stage. He whispers to the usher: “This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I’ll give you a handsome tip.”
The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a dollar. Yep. A dollar.
The usher looks at the coin in his hand, leans over and whispers: “The butler did it.”
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table. The wife asks: “Do you know her?”
“Yes,” sighs the husband. “She’s my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” says the wife. “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
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