Daily Joke: The park rangers warn hikers about bear attacks

Park rangers are advising hikers and campers in national parks to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter.

They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking. The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a distance, so they won’t be startled by a hiker accidentally sneaking up on them, which might cause a bear to charge.

Visitors are told they should also carry a pepper spray can just in case they encounter a bear. Spraying the pepper into the air will irritate the bear’s sensitive nose and it will run away.

It is also a good idea to keep an eye out for fresh bear droppings so you have an idea if bears are in the area. People should be able to recognise the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat.

Black bear droppings are smaller and often contain berries, leaves, and possibly bits of fur. Grizzly bear droppings tend to contain small bells and smell of pepper.

Daily Joke: A man visits his grandpa

On the first morning of the visit, Charles’ grandpa prepares a breakfast of bacon and eggs. Charles notices a weird substance on his plate and asks: “Grandpa, are you sure these plates are clean?”

Grandpa replies: “They’re as clean as cold water can get them, just eat your breakfast.”

Later that day for lunch, Charles’ grandpa makes burgers. Charles again, notices specks of dried egg on his plate. Charles starts to doubt grandpa: “Grandpa, I really don’t think the water you’re using is effective. Do you even put these things in the dishwasher?”

Grandpa starts to get mad. “Damn it Charles I told you, these plates are as clean as cold water can get them!”

Later as Charles was leaving, Grandpa’s new dog starts to growl and wont let Charles leave. Charles calls Grandpa: “Grandpa! Your stupid dog won’t let me leave!”

Grandpa comes running into the room shouting: “Boy! You lay down! Bad dog! Bad dog!”

Charles opens the door but, as he looks down, he notices the dog’s name printed on its collar. It reads: “Cold Water”.

Daily Joke: A new chairman gives a speech

The new chairman, giving his acceptance speech at the annual meeting of a local society club indicated his concern.

“In most associations half the members do most of the work while the other half does nothing. Beginning today this will change. From this day forward this will be reversed!”