Daily Joke: Scarily good Friday the 13th gags

For some, Friday the 13th is considered something of an unlucky day. In a number of countries, the number 13 is also considered very unlucky. However, there are those who say all the fuss is nothing more than superstition. Whatever side of the fence you sit on, we’ve compiled a list of jokes and puns to help lighten the mood this Friday the 13th.

Why did the skeleton not go and see the scary movie with his friends on Friday the 13th?

He didn’t have the guts.

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Which key opens the door to a haunted house?

A spoo-key!

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat?

When you are a mouse.

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What pasta dish do Italians eat on Friday the 13th?

Fettuccini Afraid-o.

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Why could the mummy not go out on Friday the 13th?

Because he was all wound up.

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Knock knock.

Who is there?

Norma Lee

Norma Lee, who?

Normally, I won’t ask this, but witches the way to the haunted cemetery?

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What do you think a ghost keeps in its stable?

Night-mares.

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A woman bought a new Mercedes to celebrate her husband leaving her and was out on the motorway for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through her hair and she decided to open the car up.

As the needle jumped up to 120km/h, she suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind her.

“There’s no way they can catch a Mercedes,” she thought and opened the car up further. The needle hit 130, 140… Then the reality of the situation hit her. She slowed down and pulled over.

The cop came up to her, took her licence without a word and examined it and the car. “It’s been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th,” he said. “I don’t feel like more paperwork, I don’t need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”

The woman thinks about it for a second and says, “Last week, my no-good husband ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give him back!”

“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer.

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