Little Johnny’s mother was busy in the kitchen trying to get the last of the ketchup out of the bottle. She was banging and banging the end of the bottle to no avail. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked four-year old Johnny to answer the phone.
Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. “Mummy, It’s the minister,” he said to his mother.
From the kitchen Johnny’s mum said: “Tell him I’ll call him back”.
Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying: “Mummy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle”.
At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players: “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?”
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
“Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?”
The little boy nodded yes.
“So,” the coach continued. “When a strike is called, or you’re out at first, you don’t argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?”
Again the little boy nodded.
“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain it to your mother.”
A fellow came into a bar and ordered a martini. Before drinking it, he removed the olive and carefully put it into a glass jar. Then he ordered another martini and did the same thing. After an hour, when he was full of martinis and the jar was full of olives, he staggered out.
“Well,” said a customer. “I never saw anything as peculiar as that!”
“What’s so peculiar about it?” the bartender said. “His wife sent him out for a jar of olives.”