Daily Joke: I’m hearing voices

Jun 24, 2021
Well that's just creepy! Source: Getty Images

A guy walks into a bar and is surprised to find he is the only customer. He asks for a beer, but the barman says, “I’ll just be a few minutes, I’ve got to go and change the barrel. Help yourself to the savoury snacks.”
The man sits quietly nibbling on the nibbles, when he hears a voice. “I tell you what mate, you are looking really good tonight. That suit is really you.”
He looks around, but he is still alone.
Then he hears, “And that new haircut, it couldn’t be better.”
Again, the man looks around but there is no one there.
“Oh, have you lost weight? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you looking so well.”
Still, no one around.
The barman finally returns and the man says, “You won’t believe this. I was sitting here on my own and I heard this voice say I look great, my suit is really me and that I’ve never looked so well. Yet, there’s not another person here.”
“Oh …” says the barman. “That’ll be the nuts. They’re complimentary.”

Need another laugh? Have a look at some of our other great jokes here.

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