Grandma and Grandpa were sitting in their porch rockers watching the beautiful sunset and reminiscing about the good old days, when Grandma turned to Grandpa and said: “Honey, do you remember when we first started dating and you used to just casually reach over and take my hand?”
Grandpa looked over at her, smiled and took her aged hand in his. With a wry little smile Grandma pressed a little farther: “Honey, do you remember how after we were engaged you’d sometimes lean over and suddenly kiss me on the cheek?”
Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss on her wrinkled cheek.
Growing bolder still, Grandma said: “Honey, do you remember how, after we were first married, you’d kind of nibble on my ear?”
Grandpa slowly got up from his rocker and headed into the house. Alarmed, Grandma said: “Honey, where are you going?”
Grandpa replied: “To get my teeth!”
A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had hit virtually head-on.
One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating: “He wouldn’t let me have my half of the road!”
After gathering as much information as possible, he angrily approached the other driver, who was examining his own damage. The police officer asked: “That old lady says that you wouldn’t let her have her half of the road. Why not?”
In exasperation, the man turns from his smashed car and says: “Officer, I would have been happy to give her half of the road … If she had just let me know earlier which half she wanted!”
Worried that they hadn’t heard anything for days from the widow in the apartment next door, the mother said to her son: “Tony, would you go next door and see how old Mrs Pierpoint is?”
A few minutes later, Tony returned.
“Well, is she all right?” asked the mother.
“She’s fine, but she’s rather annoyed with you,” remarked Tony.
“At me!” the mother exclaimed. “Whatever for?”
Tony replied: “Mrs Pierpoint said it’s none of your business how old she is.”