Daily Joke: A man filed for divorce after nearly 40 years of marriage

After almost 40 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The house was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out and then he would buy her another place.

The wife agreed to this, but asked that she be given three days on her own there to pack up her things. On the first day she lovingly put her personal belongings into boxes and crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their candlelit dining table, soft music playing in the background, and feasted on a kilogram of prawns and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each room and deposited a few of the resulting prawn shells into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

The husband came back with his new girl and all was bliss for the first few days. Then it started; slowly but surely.

Clueless, the man could not explain why the place smelled so bad. They tried everything; cleaned, mopped and aired the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in, the carpets were replaced, and on it went.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. Even the maid quit. Finally they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was he agreed on a price that was about a tenth of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home. They even took the curtain rods.

A man took his daughter to work with him

An eight-year-old girl went to the office with her father on ‘Take Your Child to Work Day’.

As they walked around the office she started crying and getting cranky. Her father asked what was wrong.

As the staff gathered round she sobbed loudly: “Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?”