A blind man was out shopping at the local market for fruit. He put his hands on the pears and said: “What are those?”
The shopkeeper replied: “Those are pears”.
“Where I’m from pears are much bigger than that.”
He then put his hands on some bananas and asked: “What are those?
“Bananas,” the shopkeeper replied, rather annoyed.
“Where I’m from bananas are much bigger!”
The storekeeper was fed up at this point. The man then attempted to put his hand on some watermelons and, as he did, the shopkeeper shouted: “Keep your hands away from those grapes”.
In the men’s room at work, the boss placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it: “Think!”
The next day, when he went to the men’s room, he looked at the sign, and right below it, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read: “Thoap!”
Little Johnny was being shown the shape of the earth on a globe atlas by his mother. After pointing to all countries with unusual shapes, she asked: “Now Johnny, what shape is the world?”
Johnny, looking very wise and happy, said: “Daddy says it’s in terrible shape”.
The child comes home from his first day at school. His mother asks: “Well, what did you learn today?”
The kid sighs in annoyance and replies: “Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow”.