Morton was reading the paper after breakfast when he came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player, known primarily for his lack of IQ and common sense.
He turned to his wife with a questioning look on his face and said: “I’ll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.”
His wife smiled and replied: “Why thank you, dear!”
A man goes to see his supervisor in the front office.
“Boss,” he says. “We’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”
“We’re short-handed, mate” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”
“Thanks, boss,” says the man. “I knew I could count on you!”
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime so, instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: “Guess who?”
The controller switched the field lights off and replied: “Guess where?”
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