A man says to his neighbour: “I have an extraordinary dog. He brings me the newspaper every morning”.
The neighbour responds by saying: “That’s nothing special. Lots of dogs do that”.
“Sure,” the man says. “But I don’t have a subscription.”
A guy is walking down the street with his friend when he turns and says: “I’m just a walking economy”.
His friend replies: “What do you mean?”
“It’s like this… My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression.”
A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall, idly picking his teeth.
The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. So, he asked the guy: “How much money do you make a week?”
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said: “I make $400 a week. Why?”
The CEO said: ”Wait right here”.
He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said: “Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now get out and don’t come back”.
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked: “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”
From across the room a voice said: “Sure – he was the pizza delivery guy and was just waiting to collect the money!”