A father and his son arrive at a football game but the dad can’t find the tickets.
“Nip home and see if I left the tickets there,” the dad says to the son.
“No problem, Dad.”
The boy races home leaving the dad waiting at the game. Half an hour later the boy returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium.
The dad asks: “Did you find them?”
The boy responds: “Yep, they’re on the kitchen table where you left them.”
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100 per cent. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said: “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”
To which the gentleman said: “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon-load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. “Hey Wilmer!” the farmer yelled. “Forget your troubles. Come in and have a bite with us. Then I’ll help you get the wagon up.”
“That’s mighty nice of you,” Wilmer answered. “But I don’t think Pa would like me to.”
“Aw, come on,” the farmer insisted.
“Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and added. “But Pa won’t like it.”
After a hearty dinner, Wilmer thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset.”
“Don’t be foolish!” the neighbour said with a smile. “By the way, where is your Pa?”
Wilmer replied: “Under the wagon.”
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