‘The workplace safety and warning signs that drive me bonkers’

Footless and fancy free. Yes, you read that correctly. You may have been expecting ‘footloose and fancy free’. I am referring to the signs all around us where the people depicted have no feet! None at all. They don’t have necks either or facial bits and pieces like eyes and ears, even hands, and mostly that doesn’t seem to bother me. But no feet! Therefore no shoes. You know that old saying, “I cried because I had no shoes ‘till I met a man who had no feet”. Here he is!

In the sign above, you’re advised that you may encounter a bloke and a big pile of dirt up ahead.

The bloke above indicates road workers close by.

In neither of those two signs do the ‘people’ have any feet! Occupational health and safety would be there in a shot if they knew this.

Surely it wouldn’t take much more paint to give these bloke feet. Then they could have steel-toed boots and all would be well. Are we encouraging workmen to go no-footed?

I’ve been looking around at other signs and it’s all very interesting.

The person in the ‘Caution’ sign would have so much more chance of staying upright if he/she had feet. Of course hands would be a great asset. Mostly the lack of hands doesn’t bother me but in this case it does.

I was recently at the Sydney Opera House and saw the sign above. It appears the inspector is rumbling handless through my handbag. A handbag? But there are no hands to hold it! How horrible. Do you think he’ll find a spare pair of hands in there? Maybe it’s all those missing feet! No, he’s looking for an incendiary device. Well, he’s out of luck. I gave up smoking years ago.

The lift was out of order so there was a sign advising patrons to take the stairs (see picture above), but there is no handrail and, of course, he has no feet! Surely he will fall … Don’t even get me started about the stairs going nowhere. Maybe he’s singing, ‘I’ll build a stairway to paradise …’ But wait! He has no mouth either. I wonder what he’ll do when (and if) he gets to the top?

Look at these cheery folk with smiley mouths (is she holding a baby?). They really do need a seat as they have no feet. He’s so happy, using a walking stick. Of course he needs a seat!

Out shopping I saw this sign on the escalator. Yes, it would be good to hold small children firmly by the hand if they had one, and nice to hold the handrail too. But now I’m finding this lack of hands is disturbing as well. One poor bloke has his foot stuck even though he is footless. So is he really stuck?

Now here’s the really strange thing. In the wheelchair sign above, you’ll see the person has feet, though it’s entirely possible that he or she doesn’t need them often.

While the person on the train in the sign above has feet (lucky!) they have to keep them off the seats. What this sign proves to me is that it’s possible to add feet!

Finally, this must be the funniest toilet sign I’ve ever seen. They’ve probably been drinking too much water at the cute bubbler below, which appears to be levitating.

My conclusion out of all of this is that more elaborate signage is needed.

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