Your Place or Mine? [Sex after sixty]

Nowadays for many varied reasons many of us older singles are not prepared to take on a full time partner, and they chose to live in separate places. This works very well for many and can at times often put a bit of a spark in a relationship especially if both parties make an effort when it’s his turn to stay at her place or it’s her turn to stay at his.

The last two relationships I had was a ‘your place or mine’ deal and at times it was great although I did seem to go to a lot more trouble with dinners and breakfasts than they did. I always made a special dinner with all the trimmings and made sure the house was clean and tidy and clean sheets were on the bed but in many cases the guys I was involved with didn’t make nearly the effort I did.

Many of our families like us living alone because of the legal complications if we die or our relationships break down. My daughter was always worried if I let someone move in because of the de facto laws that usually mean after two years being together as a couple a person can have the same rights as if they were married. Naturally the law usually favours the party who came into the relationship with less.

If one person dies and they haven’t made provision for the other person in their will a claim can be made from the estate for a share of property and ongoing financial support. Claims can also be made against superannuation. If the relationship breaks down claims can be made for contributions made during the time a couple were together. If an agreement can’t be reached then normally it requires the court to intervene. This makes things messy and usually upsets our adult children who feel another person is getting at their inheritance.

At our age who wants all this type of stuff again in our lives so it’s no live ins for me. As I live in the Blue Mountains the ideal lover for me nowadays would be someone who lives in the city then as a couple we would have the best of both worlds. Not sure if it’s going to happen though.

I wanted to know what others though so I did a bit of research:

Female 64. – I don’t let them move in I had a bad experience a few years back and learnt my lesson.

Female 66. – No I keep them at arms length especially the ones living in caravans.

Female 63. – If they ask me if I own my own home I know what they are looking for and give them a miss.

Female 65. – I rent so if he owns a home I usually become more interested. Why not try to make my life a little easier.

Female 68. – I did let him move in but it’s not working too well he’s become bossy and acts like it’s his place now. It’s been six years

Male 60. – I’ve lost two homes in previous marriages. I rent now so I’m not much of a catch financially. Still good in bed though!

Male 64. – I’ve lost everything and staying with a friend at present then planning to do the ‘grey nomad thing’ when I can afford to buy a van.

Male 68. – No way. Burnt once just crash at her place now when I’m horny.

Male 66. – I think at my stage of life no one could put up with me anyway.

Male 65. – As long as her grandkids are not around and there is a TV I don’t care where I am

It would seem that the days of people living under the same roof because they couldn’t bear to be apart might be over for us older men and women?

Do you and your partner live together? Tell us why in the comments below… 

Let me know what you think. xxx CaroleL

If you would like me to cover any particular topic in this column please email me at: [email protected]

Carole Lethbridge is the author of “Online Dating After Sixty: One woman’s journey of love, lust and losers”. She has been both married and single over the last few decades and she has done her own research, gathering extensive data on relationships between females and males.