Why didn’t I call?

This morning I got a phone call. One of my friends had passed away. I’d been meaning to call her, but I had put it off for this or that reason and now she’s gone.

Lil lived a full life, I think she was about 95 although she had the energy of someone much younger. Lil was the one who told me that no matter how she felt, she would get up, dress up, and show up. She made the most of every day with her infectious energy.

This reminds me of something that we all have to remember. Don’t put off calling people for stupid reasons.

My partner does this all the time, postponing a call and then it’s too late.

I always remind her to reach out to those that matter to her. And here I am, the victim of my own neglect.

As people get older, many don’t drive anymore, so it’s important to stay in touch with them. Often they are lonely, looking for something to do, and a welcomed call from a friend is always appreciated.

I know how they feel. I’ve been laid up twice from broken knees, and each time I was relegated to a wheelchair for four months. I can count on one hand, the number of people who reached out to me or came to visit. I felt very lonely at times.

Even though I don’t bop around as much as I used to, when somebody reaches out to see how I’m doing, it really brightens my day.

Sometimes we get so involved with our own lives that we forget that others are less fortunate than we are; people whose heyday was years ago, and perhaps they’ve had an illness, perhaps they can’t drive for one reason or another. Perhaps they are just looking for something to do to help pass the time.

And now my pal Lil is gone. I heard that she had had some leg problems but I decided to text her. I should have given her a phone call. She was more of a phone person. I was going to call today and now I can’t. It’s a sad day for me.

I didn’t call her and now she’s gone I reached out but it was a text. A text doesn’t really count.

I should’ve dialed instead.

We all swirl in our own problems, dismissing those who are over there, forgotten souls marching alone, the echoes of their history mumbling to themselves as their only company.

Things that once came easily for them, now a forgotten dream.

Alone they pace the halls, talking to the walls hoping someone might listen.

Someone who might remember who they used to be before age had its way, hardening their smiles, hardening their bones, hardening their hearts.

And so, we don’t call.

Maybe tomorrow we say to ourselves.

I’ve got too much to do today. They can wait, they’re at home, not going anywhere.

I’m busy with here and there.

I’ve got no time to spare. So we don’t call. Thoughts consumed by our urban sprawl.

After all, death might be contagious. Maybe we will catch it if we call.

Afraid to be courageous.

I’m too busy, at least it didn’t happen to me, At least not today.

Why didn’t I call?

Although today has been a sad day, something wonderful happened on my afternoon walk. I was thinking about my friend Lil and what she might say to me if she could. One word came to me.

LIVE.

And that is such great advice for all of us. Thank you, Lil, for being in my life and bringing me such joy.