How to retain positivity as you age

Positivity as your lifespan shortens

As 2024 comes to a close, with another birthday just gone this December, I am already mentally browsing what I can look forward to in 2025.

I have said before, that aging and retirement are not about keeping busy, it is about seeking out what’s next. I am often asked why I seem at peace with life and I ask myself the same question given we still have trauma and heartbreak in our lives.

Growing old is about retaining a positive attitude and embracing the good things. It is also about accepting things we can’t change. Our lives will always be faced with the unexpected good and bad. It is difficult to describe my approach to life, but at this stage, I don’t feel the emotional weight on my shoulders and I tend to laugh a lot, mostly at myself. Life is not as complicated as we often make it.

The contributing factors I have adopted and tried to cultivate over time:

Being grateful; is vital and puts things in perspective. I try not to let the negatives overrule me, rather seek out the simple things like sunsets, watching insects in the garden, being kind to others, and interacting with my grandchildren. My parents would say be grateful you have a roof over your head and most people would laugh but now I understand. They were saying to be thankful for anything we have as there are millions worse off than us. There are days I may feel down, mainly through tiredness or overdoing it. Allow myself a day or two of self-indulgence, then get up and move on to something better. We are human after all.

A positive approach; don’t waste my time and energy on things I can’t change, focus on the good things in life. I prefer to see the good in people first. Embrace the simple basics and get joy out of them. Negative people drain me, I will help them if they are willing. I am happy to assist others but need to put on my counselling hat otherwise I absorb their negative energy.

Forgiveness; don’t hold grudges it emotionally weighs you down and for what? Try to understand the other perspective and even if you don’t agree, at least agree to let it go. Living in the past, bringing up the past as an emotional weapon serves no purpose other than to destroy yourself and others around you. Let it go.

Being socially active; I cherish my alone time and plan my days but we are social beings and I also need to connect with others for my mental wellbeing. Apart from my family connections, I have developed a network of friends through either my workplace before I retired or from other sources such as modelling, writing, dancing, and gym, throughout the country as well as overseas. We organize catch-ups, share and discuss books, TV shows, recipes, new craft patterns, politics, and sports, go for walks and plan for prospective workshops in other countries.

Physically active; I get grumpy if I don’t exercise. This is a huge contributor to feeling happy no matter how simple. There are times when a short walk to my local coffee place is all I need for a half- hour breather. It clears my mind and I take in nature. The gym workouts contribute to my overall well-being.

Always learning; is an addiction for me, every single day I am learning something new. My sources are varied, whether it be new IT applications, writing techniques, dance steps, piano, singing, languages, recipes, or crochet/knitting patterns. It is endless. My curiosity and need to know why is paramount. I cannot accept things at face value but rather understand the whys and hows. Learning is my cerebral elixir.

Develop resilience; we can find strength in adversity, even through all the pain and hardship. Once confronted with the ups and downs and dwelling on feeling sorry for yourself, best to look at the good things you have and work on potential answers to your problem. We will always experience hurt, be let down, betrayed it’s that other side of humanity, unfortunately. I evaluate my stress levels and consider how much energy I am using up and if it is worth it. I always find ways around things, eventually. How often in retrospect we think gee that was a waste of energy, particularly over the things we thought important, that weren’t. They can cause unnecessary arguments in relationships.

Embracing the moments; no matter how simple, laugh at yourself, not others. None of us are perfect. Time proves we all recover, life still goes on for now.