A Mindful Way of Life

Have you been hearing a lot about mindfulness of late? Do you understand this concept? Do you practice it in your own life?

Mindfulness can be a form of meditation, but it is more than that. It is a way of life and a way of being consciously aware and focused on the present moment. No matter what you may be doing, you are present in that moment, accepting “what is” and also accepting all your feelings whatever they may be. It is about letting go of thinking of past or future, or wishing things were other than they are right now. It can be used as a therapeutic practice for anxiety and depression.

Personally, I do like to meditate daily and because I have been a lifetime sufferer of bouts of anxiety and depression, I take this practice seriously and try to incorporate it into my daily activities. It sounds simple doesn’t it? And yet, in fact, it can be a very challenging way of living. We seem to be so programmed from an early age, to plan for the future, regret the past, hope for things to change, wish for more – but we are rarely taught to stay focused on the here and now. We are rarely encouraged to be still, to breathe deeply or to be aware of and to accept our feelings – no matter what they may be.

I have been especially thinking about this recently. Last week, I travelled a few hours to a country town, where a long-term friend of mine is now living in a nursing home. She is 81 and is quite unwell, through various health issues and particularly leg ulcers that cause much pain and swelling, therefore totally limiting her mobility. I was a little shocked on first sight of her due to the physical changes in her. I first met her nearly 30 years ago when we were colleagues in a professional situation. She is now very much a reduced version of herself, both physically and mentally. She is very depressed and quite despairing at the loss of her former lifestyle and being in what she calls “a prison”. In fact, the home she is in is just the most luxurious, spacious, clean and well equipped one that I have ever seen – brand new and sparkling. The staff seems to mainly be very caring and friendly.

I noticed that my friend still has her humour, enjoys a glass of wine, a joke with the staff, the television, has music in her room (which has always been a love of hers) and has many, many friends visiting her and caring. But, she is just constantly resisting her circumstances and her pain. Every day, she is caught up in this resistance and remembering better times and wishing for things to change. This is obviously having a very negative effect on her mental and physical wellbeing. I spoke to her at length about noticing any good moments she experiences each day, to appreciate and be grateful for small things and to embrace some of the things she still has access to in her life. Unfortunately, while seeming to intellectually “get” this – her thought processes were mainly negative and resistant and she expressed that she felt she would rather die than live in this way.

One day, I took her out to lunch at her favourite river side café. She was greeted affectionately and sincerely by the owner of this café, she enjoyed her berry pancakes and a glass of wine – it was a beautiful day with a cool breeze and the view of the river was glorious. For a short while, I managed to get her talking about things other than her discomfort and her present circumstances. But often, she would go back to the same topics – her pain, her imprisonment, her ONE experience of a nurse who was less than gentle with her. But for a few moments, I almost had the spirit of my friend back with me. In the moment.

At present, I teach Ethics to two classes of primary school children aged about eleven. Sometimes, when they are unsettled, I get them to just sit up in their chairs, feet on the floor and take three deep breaths. This inevitably makes them giggle! They mumble about yoga and probably think I am a bit weird. But, I would just love to get into those primary classrooms and teach them mindfulness and how to be still, and how to acknowledge and accept their emotions. I (perhaps naively) believe this learning could start to change the world – for the better! There is education research now that does support my view that children really benefit from this sort of learning – but I suppose we are a long way from seeing it included in the curriculum.

And so, I think mindfulness with a big dash of gratitude added, would be so useful for both young and old.

What do you think? I would love to hear your opinions on this.