“The couple who are getting married have asked for money towards their honeymoon and as we have not been to any weddings for some time, we have absolutely no idea how much we should give them.
“We do not see this couple very often and we are not particularly close to them but we do very much appreciate that they thought to invite us. I’d really welcome any advice on what would be a suitable amount to give them!”
The woman’s question was answered by hundreds, with opinions very divided as to whether she should be giving a gift at all if she can’t attend. Others were unsettled by the idea of cash, saying even asking for money was “crass”.
“Unless you are very close I would send a card and good wishes,” one said. “I wouldn’t have expected a gift from anyone not able to attend my wedding, which was 51 years ago today.”
“Younger people may not think it’s a bit cheeky but the older amongst us might,” one said.
While another said she’d stick to a voucher, writing, “On principle, I wouldn’t give money. I think it’s crass to even ask for it. (So they spend it frivolously whilst perhaps you have to budget carefully?)
“In the past, I’ve given a voucher to put towards something for their household. Young couples always need something even if it’s only tea towels or a lamp. In effect, it amounts to the same thing I suppose but it “sits” better with me. However, in your shoes, given you are not close, a card would be my choice and leave it at that.”
Many said they’d also attended weddings where cash was expected and encouraged the woman to gift what she could afford as a thank you for the invite.
“As they were kind enough to invite you I would give £40-50 ($AU75-95) if I couldn’t go to the event. Probably give more if we were going,” one said.
“I would think that £50 is about right. £100 if you are feeling flush as obviously you won’t have the expense of travel,” another suggested.