‘I fear my husband’s retirement will destroy our happiness’

It seems pretty common for husband’s to retire first since they are stereotypically older, but one wife isn’t too thrilled about this. The wife wrote anonymously to The Washington Post‘s advice columnist Carolyn Hax, explaining how she’s afraid she will resent going into work “while he enjoys a never-ending vacation”.

“My husband is hard-working and also a caring and loving husband. Our relationship is absolutely wonderful. However, there is something I fear may soon destroy all this happiness. He is going to retire in a couple of years, several years before me,” the wife explained.

She said he is looking forward to fun activities such as traveling, skiing and hiking, adding: “He deserves all that, as he has been working long hours for many years.

However, “I am afraid I will quickly become resentful of having to go to the office every day while he enjoys a never-ending vacation. I know I should not think this way, and I am sure a lot of women married to older husbands somehow find ways to accept this kind of arrangement, but what if I can’t?

“My job is fairly boring but pays well, so I will have to stick with it, especially when he retires and is no longer covered by insurance. I have considered changing my field of work to find something more enjoyable, but anything I would like will bring much less money, fewer benefits, and also it would require retraining. How do I handle all this?” She asked.

Hax replied to the anxious wife advising she should sit down and talk about it. 

“Getting the feelings out there will give you both a chance to anticipate them in your planning. Maybe choose a job with an eye to health benefits and flexibility vs. size of the pay-check. Maybe he can take on more household responsibilities so that his retirement benefits you both.”

Read more: Half of middle-aged Aussies worried they can’t afford retirement

New research has shown that middle-aged Australians lack confidence when it comes to planning their own retirement, with half of 40-59-year-olds admitting they don’t think they will have enough money to fund a cosy lifestyle when they finish working.

A whopping 39 per cent revealed they have “little to no confidence” that they will be able to retire comfortably in the not-too-distant-future, with just 6 per cent owning up to feeling “very confident”.

What do you think? Did your husband retire first?