A wealthy woman was hosting a garden party, with several well-to-do guests in attendance. As the party roared on, two gardeners were out on the back lawn working.
One guest was watching the gardeners do their thing, and while one gardener was busy weeding, the other jumped up and did graceful swirling dance movements.
Taken by his grace, the guest remarked to the host: “That man is such a talented dancer, that I would pay him a hundred dollars to demonstrate his dancing before my aerobics class!”
When the host asked the first gardener about such an arrangement, he yelled: “Hey Fred! Do you think for a hundred dollars you could step on that rake again?”
Bill, Jim and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top floor of a 75-storey skyscraper. After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.
Bill said to Jim and Scott: “Let’s break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I’ll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, then Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way.”
When they reached the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. “I will tell my saddest story first,” he said. “I left the room key in the car!”
A housewife with three young children was getting dinner ready when the phone rang. The six-year-old picked it up and said: “Hi, Daddy!” and she began telling him about her day.
She then passed the phone to her brother and sister as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work.
When it was finally the wife’s turn to talk she took the receiver and said: “Hi, honey.”
“Thank goodness, lady,” the voice on the other end replied. “I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered is here!”
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