There was a poor old cobbler whose shop was next door to a very upscale French restaurant. Every day at lunch time the gentleman would go out the back of his shop and eat his soda bread and maybe a piece of blue cheese while smelling the wonderful scents coming from the restaurant’s kitchen.
One morning, the man was surprised to receive an invoice in the mail from the adjoining restaurant for “enjoyment of food”. Mystified, he marched right over to the restaurant to point out that he had not bought a thing from them.
The manager said: “You’re enjoying our food, so you should pay us for it.” The man refused to pay and the restaurant took him to court.
At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the case. The manager said: “Every day, this man comes and sits outside our kitchen and smells our food while eating his. It is clear that we are providing added value to his poor food and we deserve to be compensated for it.”
The judge turned to the man and said: “What do you have to say to that?” The old man didn’t say a thing but smiled and stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled the few coins he had inside.
The judge asked him: “What is the meaning of that?”
The man replied with a wide grin: “I’m paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money.”
A company owner was being evaluated by a HR officer. Upon arrival at the office, the officer noticed every single worker was in the office before their shift even started.
He approached the boss and asked: “Tell me, how do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?”
He smiled and replied: “It’s simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking.”
Following an especially angry argument, Mr and Mrs Smith went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise early the following morning, Mr Smith left a note on his wife’s bedside table that said: “Wake me at six.”
An exasperated Mr Smith awoke at ten the following morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table: “It’s six, you bum! Get out of bed!”