One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked through the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer and accepted a twenty-dollar note from the reindeer’s hoof.
As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said: “You know, I think you’re the first reindeer I’ve ever seen in here”.
The reindeer looked hard at the pile of change and said: “Hmmm. Let me tell you something, buddy. At these prices, I’m the last reindeer you’ll see in here”.
One day, two guys were driving to a local grocery store to get some food. On the way to the store they ran into an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed red.
The man driving went right through the red light. The passenger looked at the driver and screamed: “What the heck are you doing? You’re going to get us killed!”
Then the driver responded: “Don’t worry, my mother always drives like this”.
So later on, the two guys came to another stoplight and that too was red. The driver sped right through the light. Again the passenger looked at the driver and said: “I thought I told you, you’re gonna get us killed! Would you please stop this nonsense!”
The driver looked at the passenger and responded: “I get it! But like I told already, you my mother drives like this all the time!”
Again, the two guys ran into another light. This time in was green. The driver slammed on his brakes and stopped the car completely. “What the hell are you doing?” The passenger screamed. “This is the third time you almost got us killed. Why did you stop at a green light?”
The driver replied: “That’s my mum’s car coming over there!”
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy: “Son, how old are you?”
“Eight,” the boy replied.
The man continued: “Do you know what these are used for?”
The boy replied: “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either one”.
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