There is a guy on the beach with about 25 gorgeous women swarming all around him. Seeing this, a second man strolls on up to him and asks: “What’s your secret?”
The guy whispers: “All you have to do is stick a potato in your pants and the ladies will come running.”
In a flourish, the second man runs off and stuffs a potato in his pants. But when he returns to the shore, he soon discovers that every single girl that looks his way, runs off screaming in bloody terror.
Confused, he hurries over to the first guy and desperately asks: “Why are all the girls running away from me?”
The first guy looks up and replies: “I meant put it down the front of your pants…”
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother: “Mummy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”
The mother exclaimed: “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”
The little girl replied: “My homework.”
An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he’d enjoyed on a previous trip to the city.
Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said: “You know, it’s been over five years since I first came in here.”
“You’ll have to wait your turn, sir,” replied the harried and now irritated waiter. “I can only serve one table at a time.”
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