A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten metre fence. But the next morning he got out again, and was found roaming around the zoo. A twenty metre fence was put up. But again he got out.
When the fence was forty metres high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo: “How high do you think they’ll go?”
The kangaroo said: “About a thousand metres, unless somebody starts locking the gate at night!”
The minister’s six-year-old daughter had been so naughty during the week that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn’t go to the Sunday school picnic on Saturday.
When the day came, her mother felt she had been too harsh and changed her mind. When she told the little girl she could go to the picnic, the child’s reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness.
“What’s the matter? I thought you’d be glad to go to the picnic,” her mother said.
“It’s too late!” the little girl said. “I’ve already prayed for rain.”
A business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window which stated the following: “HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, have computer skills and be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer”.
A dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined a bit.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on a chair and stared at the manager. The manager said: “I can’t hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type”.
The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back up on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog: “The sign also says you have to be good with a computer”.
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect spreadsheet that worked flawlessly the first time.
By this time, the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said: “I realise that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can’t give you the job”.
The dog jumped down and went over to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentence about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.
The manager said: “Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual”.
The dog looked at that manager calmly and said: “Meow”.