The neighbours thought it was odd, but 93-year-old Morton was dating again. One Monday morning Morton woke up with a funny feeling that something important happened last night while he was on his first date.
It was during breakfast, that Morton finally remembered what it was. He had proposed to his date Greta. But what she answered he just couldn’t seem to remember. Morton picked up the phone and dialled.
“Hi Greta”, said Morton. “I have a funny question for you, do you remember last night when I proposed?”
“Oh my gosh” gushed Greta. “I’m so glad you called, I knew I said yes to somebody but I just couldn’t recall who it was!”
Two men go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment – the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune!
The first day they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they’re driving home they’re really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says: “Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?”
The other guy says: “Wow! Then it’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more!”
“Now my motto in life,” said the school chaplain. “Is work hard, play hard and pray hard. How about you, Harriet?”
“My motto is let bygones be bygones.”
“That’s good. Why did you choose that?”
“So I wouldn’t have to take any history classes!”