A mother decided that her seven-year-old daughter Cathy should get something ‘practical’ for her birthday.
“Suppose we open a savings account for you?” she suggested. Cathy was delighted.
“It’s your account, darling,” the mother said as they arrived at the bank. “So you fill out the application.”
Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for ‘Name of your former bank’. After some thought and slight hesitation, she put down ‘Piggy’.
An officer pulled over a man and walked up to his window.
“How long have you been driving without a brake light?” asked the policeman.
The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car and gave a long, painful groan. He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit.
“Come on, now,” he said. “You don’t have to take it so hard. It isn’t that serious.”
“It isn’t?” cried the motorist. “Then I suppose you know what happened to my boat and trailer?”
A man stepped onto the overnight train and told the conductor: “I need you to wake me up in Philadelphia. I’m a deep sleeper and can be ornery when I get up, but no matter what, I want you to help me make that stop. Here’s $100 to make sure.”
The conductor agreed. The man fell asleep, and when he awoke he heard the announcement that the train was approaching New York. Furious, he collared the conductor. “I gave you $100 to make sure I got off in Philadelphia, you worthless fool!”
“Wow,” another passenger said to his traveling companion. “Is that guy ever mad!”
“Yeah,” his companion replied. “But not half as mad as that guy they forced off the train in Philadelphia.”