A man buys two horses but he can’t tell them apart, so he asks the farmer next door what to do. He says to cut one of their tails off. So the man does. But then the other horse’s tail gets caught in a bush and rips off. So again, he can’t tell them apart again.
He asks the farmer for his advice a second time. He tells him to cut one of the horse’s ears. So he does. But then the other horse gets its ear ripped in a barbed wire fence.
Again, he asks the farmer what to do and he tells her to measure them.
He comes back and says: “Thanks for your advice. It turns out the white horse is two inches taller than the black horse!”
A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defence. He didn’t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him: “Don’t worry. You’ll never have to go to jail with all that money.”
And the lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn’t have a dime.
In a small town, farmers got together to discuss some important issues. About midway through the meeting, a wife of one of the farmers stood up and spoke her piece.
When she was done, one of the old farmers stood up and said: “What does she know about anything? I would like to ask her if she knows how many toes a pig has?”
Quick as a flash, the woman replied: “Take off your boots sir, and count them yourself!”