A husband and wife were sitting at the dining room table. The wife was trying to tell a story over breakfast but couldn’t remember a key detail. Eventually she gave up and went back to drinking her coffee.
“Oh God,” she sighed. “I’m convinced my mind is almost completely gone!”
Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented: “I’m not surprised. You’ve been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!”
A climber fell off a cliff and, as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch wedged into the rock face.
“Help! Is there anyone up there?!” he shouted.
A majestic voice boomed through the gorge: “I will help you, my son, but first you must have faith in me.”
“Yes, yes, I trust you!” cried the man.
“Let go of the branch,” boomed the voice.
There was a long pause and the man shouted up again: “Is there anyone else up there I could talk to?”
Mary’s fourth grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her spelling list, along with the definition. Coming across the word “frugal” in the list, she asked her father what it meant.
He explained that being frugal meant you saved something.
Her paper read: “Frugal: to save. Sentence: ‘Maid Marion fell into a pit when she went walking in the woods so she yelled for someone to come get her out. She yelled ‘Frugal me, Frugal me!'”