At a nursing home, a group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their aches and pains.
“My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,” said one.
“I know what you mean. My cataracts are so bad I can’t even see my coffee,” replied another.
“I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,” said a third.
“My blood pressure pills make me dizzy,” another contributed.
“I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old,” winced an old man. Then there was a short moment of silence.
“Thank God we can all still drive,” said one woman cheerfully.
One night, a man on his way home happened upon a drunk, down on his hands and knees searching for something under a street light. The man asked the drunk what he was looking for so diligently and the drunk said he had tripped and his Rolex wrist watch had broken loose from his wrist.
The man, being a kindhearted soul, got down on his hands and knees and began assisting the drunk looking for his watch. After about ten minutes without any success, the man asked the drunk exactly where he tripped.
“About a half a block up the street,” the drunk said.
“Why, pray tell, are you looking for your watch here if you lost it a half a block up the street?”” the man asked the drunk.
The drunk replied: “The light is a lot better here.”
Somehow we always think we are ageing at a slower rate than everyone else. This was true of an older woman who was seeing a doctor for the first time.
She was taken into a room and told to make herself comfortable. While reading the doctor’s diploma on the wall, she realised that she went to high school with him many years ago.
The doctor entered the room. He was very grey and slightly bent over from old age. He said: “Hello, how can I help you?”
The woman asked: “Did you attend Roosevelt High School?”
“Yes I did,” the doctor answered.
“Class of 49?”
“Yes I was,” he answered.
The woman was delighted and said: “You were in my class!”
The doctor responded: “Oh really! What did you teach?”