A doctor remarked on his patient’s ruddy, very red complexion.
“I know,” said the patient. “It’s from high blood pressure and it’s from my family.”
“Your mothers side or fathers side?” questioned the doctor.
“Neither, my wife’s side.”
“What do you mean?” the doctor said. “That cannot be. How can you get it from your wife’s family?”
The patient responded: “You should meet them sometime!”
Little Zachary was doing poorly in maths. His parents, after exhausting all other incentives, finally decided to enrol him in the local catholic school. After the first day, Little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He went straight to his room and started studying. This continued for some time. His mother was baffled as to why he had become so dedicated.
Finally, Little Zachary brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went to his room to study. With great trepidation his mother looked at it and, to her surprise, Little Zachary got an A in maths. She asked: “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns, the books, the discipline, the uniforms?”
Little Zachary said: “No!”
“What was it?” she asked.
Little Zachary looked at her and said: “Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.”
Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course. They didn’t bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette.
After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said: “I think I’ll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through.”
He walked out the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around, and came back, explaining: “I can’t do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress! Maybe you’d better go talk to them.”
The second man walked toward the ladies, got halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back and said: “Small world.”