All aboard! Three hilarious jokes about catching trains

A man and woman were travelling on a train together

A man and woman who had never met before were travelling on a train and found themselves sharing a sleeping carriage. After the initial embarrassment, they managed to get to sleep in their separate beds.

Halfway through the night the woman leant over to the man and said: “I’m sorry to bother you but I’m so cold. Could you pass me another blanket?”

The man leant over and smiled: “I’ve got a better idea… let’s pretend we’re married.”

The woman giggled and shrugged: “Why not?”

“Good,” the man replied. “Get your own blanket.”

A young man and his boss board a train

A young man and his boss board a train headed through the mountains. They can’t find anywhere to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.

After a while, it is obvious the young woman and the young man are interested in each other. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it’s pitch black.

There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel the four sit there without saying a word.

The grandmother is thinking to herself: “It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him.”

The boss is sitting there thinking: “I didn’t know the young man was brave enough to kiss the girl but I sure wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped me.”

The young woman thought: “I’m glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother hadn’t slapped him.”

The young man thought to himself: “Life is good, how often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his boss all at the same time.”

A man is late for his train

A man is running late for his train and is desperately searching for a shortcut.

A man asks a farmer near a field: “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says: “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”