Grandmother feeling overshadowed by the competitive nature of the ‘other Nana’

Feb 19, 2024
"The other Nana is very competitive and makes me feel not good enough even though I have a lovely relationship with our sons child". Source: Getty Images.

A grandmother’s candid admission about feeling overshadowed by the competitive antics of the “other Nana” has sparked a wider conversation on the challenges of modern grandparenting.

Taking to the online forum Gransnet, the concerned grandmother currently on a weekend getaway with her son, daughter-in-law, and both sets of grandparents, opened up about her struggle with feelings of inadequacy compared to the seemingly extravagant gestures of her fellow grandmother.

“I have a 12 month old granddaughter. This weekend we have gone away with son, wife , baby and the other nana and partner. The other Nana is very competitive and makes me feel not good enough even though I have a lovely relationship with our sons child,” she explained.

“I only get a short time compared to her.

“I hate feeling like this. She throws money with expensive gifts and holidays etc. I feel like I get crumbs. I dare not say anything to anyone but to be honest she’s hard work. Any suggestions please?”

In response, the Gransnet community flooded the thread with messages of empathy, support, and invaluable advice. The prevailing sentiment was that genuine connections are forged through love, shared experiences, and authenticity, not through material possessions.

“Ignore it. Don’t compete or try to. Build your own relationship with your grandchild. It’s not worth the hassle, honestly,” one suggested.

“Do your own thing. A relationship with anyone, let alone a granddaughter, is based on who you are, not what you have or give. One of my fondest memories of bonding with my DGS was on a country walk in woodland. The then 3 year old started to build what he described as a ‘village from sticks’. I just stood beside him and took his instructions for the sticks he required and then found them and when he had finished he stood up took my hand and we walked on. That sort of experience doesn’t require money or education or toys or cars,” commented another.

“Don’t be intimidated by the other gran don’t compare yourself. Just be YOU a loving gran and enjoy the relationship you have with your GC,” one advised.

“Ask yourself.. would I actually like to be like the other Nan. If not then just relish your own uniqueness.. your grandaughter certainly will if you remain kind and relaxed..,” one user said.

As the grandmother continues her journey, her story serves as an inspiration for grandparents globally, reminding them that genuine connections with their grandchildren are built on love and authenticity.

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