A nurse had to take a patient back to her room after surgery. The woman was still feeling the effects of the anaesthesia and was rather confused.
After the nurse had made her comfortable, she was confronted with four of the woman’s friends who asked: “How is she?”
The nurse replied: “Oh, she’s quite dopey.”
One of the friends said: “We know that, but how is she health wise?”
A young boy had just gotten his driver’s licence and asked his father, an evangelist, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father took him into his study and said to the boy: “I’ll make a deal with you, son. You bring your grades up from a C to a B, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut, then we’ll talk about the car.”
Well, the boy thought about that for a moment and decided that he’d settle for the offer, so they agreed on it.
After about six weeks, the boy came back and again asked his father about using the car. Again, they went to the study, where his father said: “Son, I’ve been real proud of you. You’ve brought your grades up, I’ve observed that you have been studying your Bible and participating a lot more in the Bible study class on Sunday morning. But I’m real disappointed you haven’t yet had your hair cut.”
The young man paused a moment and then said: “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair and there’s even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair.”
His father replied: “You’re right son. Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?”
Two women ran into the court of King Solomon, fighting.
“My daughter was to marry this man, but this woman claims that the man was to marry her daughter!” one of them yelled.
“There is a simple solution,” said the King. “I shall cut the man in two and each of your daughters can have a piece.”
“Fine by me!” said the first woman.
“No, don’t, I would rather let the other girl marry him than that!” cried the second.
The King didn’t hesitate for a minute. “Fine.” he said. “The first woman may have him.”
“What?” protested the other? “She wanted him cut in two!”
“Indeed,” said the king. “She shows the true spirit of a mother-in-law!”
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