Bride and Groom spark controversy with bossy wedding invitations

A soon-to-be-married couple has people bemused over their bossy wedding invite. Source: Getty Images.

Wedding invitations are the bride and groom’s first interaction with their guests symbolising inclusion, respect and acknowledgement of the couple’s connection to the recipient.

When the invite arrives in the post or the inbox, it’s meant to spark excitement for the big day ahead and their future as husband and wife.

However one soon-to-be-married couple has come under fire after their wedding invitations were labelled as rude and disrespectful.

The offending invite was posted to Reddit with the question, “If someone sent this to me I would simply just not go.”

If someone sent this to me I would simply just not go
byu/VieleAud inweddingshaming

The invite features a stringent set of rules seemingly to control everything from guests’ behaviour to what they wear to how they dance.

Rule number one – “This is XX’s big day, not yours” – makes it clear that the wedding was all about them with no thought to how this would make their guests feel.

There were also rules about not overindulging with the drinks and not getting offended if there was too much twerking on the dance floor.

Rule number eight, “If you can’t handle or dislike the music being played, simply go home. This is a celebration, not a funeral,” was particularly inflammatory.

Redditors were incensed at the list not because of its contents but its tone.

“I feel like all of these could be rewritten to not sound like an a**hole.”

“What kind of list is this? Too chaotic for me.”

Others questioned who was on the guest list to prompt such a missive.

“None of the rules are that bad. But it’s weird that some of them have to be said (who are you inviting to your wedding that you have to tell them to not complain about your wedding?).”

“I mean none of these rules and expectations are particularly unreasonable, they’re just worded hella aggressively. But then, the couple know their own friends and family better than any of us, and they very well may be the type of crowd that need rules stated very bluntly and clearly to understand that they’re not just loose suggestions.”

Bossy brides (and grooms) are becoming more common these days as demonstrated by a recent event when a bride-to-be sparked a heated debate over charging guests a no-show cancellation fee. 

Discussing the matter on the She’s On the Money podcast the bride sought clarification on whether or not she should ask no-show guests to bear the expenses if they cancel attending the wedding at the last minute.

“It’s now one week out from the wedding and I have already given the confirmed numbers to the venue and paid the outstanding amount, which was $18,600,” she explained.

“Within the last week ten guests, who had previously RSVP’d that they were coming have now cancelled citing that it’s too expensive for them to travel interstate.

“I am scrambling to cover their seats, otherwise I’m effectively wasting $2000.

“Is it reasonable to request that they cover these costs themselves?”

She also explained that all guests had been given at least 18 months warning with a Save the Date and subsequent invite.

Opinions were divided with some supporting the bride’s practical stance while others argued that weddings should be free of financial formalities.

The reality is that someone has to foot the bill so is it fair to leave it to the bride and groom when much thought goes into the guest list and ensuring all guests are aware of the wedding date well in advance?


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