The life you deserve to live

“There is no passion in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living” – Nelson Mandela

“The givens of life are gifts because they are the ingredients of character, depth and compassion,” states David Richo in The Five Things We Cannot Change.

There is celebrated wisdom in that simple message and when overlooked it results in life’s ensuing dramas.

Being irrational creatures, we fail to see past our tragedies to realise life gives us encouragement even though it may not appear in the form we expect.

Yet your time here is not meant to be a cycle of pain and suffering. It is within your power how you chose to respond to life’s unfolding events. Contained within that choice are your greatest lessons if you withhold judgement on how life should develop.

To concede defeat, you award power to those unpleasant events by perpetuating the victim role, which is an easy trap to fall into. And so, with restrained patience we remain vigilant in how we respond to life’s ups and downs.

Happiness is a choice, not an unattainable goal.

You move toward happiness the moment you declare your intention to do so. Equally, we may be content, yet happiness may elude us. When happiness entails our material and emotional needs being met, we allow it to permeate our lives with unbound richness.

With our basic needs fulfilled, we want nothing more than the comfort of being present within our own body. Even unwanted thoughts fuelled with fear or anxiety are powerless over us since they are transitory states.

Your obligation is to abide by something deeper if you wish to live the life you deserve. Stand for something which conveys control and a reason to attend to the day.

We receive what we ask of life.

What we claim equates to our self-worth. Our self-worth is in direct proportion to the sum of our life’s experiences. You cannot demand more if you are undeserving at some level.

If you have issues with receiving, this is likely to show in how much life affords you. However, if your beliefs coincide with what you deserve, that becomes your reference point.

Unresolved childhood wounds are often related to unworthiness issues that perpetuate through maturity. Perhaps your main caregiver convinced you of your unworthiness and you have held onto this all this time.

In his book, The Mind Body Code, author Dr Mario Martinez affirms this point stating, “You were never robbed of your power or your worthiness; you inadvertently disowned them.”

For that reason, avoid responding to subjective thoughts to what is lacking. Do not concede to disempowering thoughts based on an internal script. With enough energy, these learned beliefs sooner or later transform into negative states.

Your reality is formed by aligning with your deepest values, not by reciting worn-out childhood inner dialogues. This is not who you are, any more than choosing to associate with your childhood toys. Reality is reflected in your thoughts, desires and beliefs on what you deserve and are willing to accept.

“Sometimes you have to forget what you want to remember what you deserve.” – Unknown

“Because if the decisions you make about where you invest your blood, sweat, and tears are not consistent with the person you aspire to be, you’ll never become that person,” states Clayton M. Christensen in his book, How Will You Measure Your Life?

Be bold through your willingness to commit to your dreams.

Don’t be pushed by life’s failures since they often redirect you to a better-suited destination if you allow the journey to unfold.

Be moved by your passion and your heart’s desires.

There is discussion these days on the merit of visualising a purposeful future. Whilst much of the advice comes from well-intentioned life coaches, the guidance invites you to call on your imagination to bring reality to life. You have to believe it before you see it maintains the biblical saying.

To embrace the life we deserve, we step into our greatness not cower from it. You have nothing to fear other than fear itself, which holds you captive by playing small.

Marianne Williamson reminds us, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” Just like a double-edged sword, if we shy away from our magnificence, it has the potential to impair our growth if we fail to use those gifts.

I enjoy Steven Pressfield’s view, “A child has no trouble believing the unbelievable, nor does the genius or the madman. It’s only you and I, with our big brains and our tiny hearts, who doubt and overthink and hesitate.”

Be present and alive in each moment instead of floundering in the past or focussing on an imaginary future. Many people prevent a promising future from arriving due to negative thoughts and a belief they are undeserving of goodness.

To create the life you deserve, take inspired action and move out of your comfort zone. “Life happens at the end of your comfort zone,” declares Neale Donald Walsch.

In honouring this intent, author David J. Schwartz acknowledges this belief in The Magic of Thinking Big, “Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to a solution.”

I opened this piece with a quote by the prominent psychotherapist David Richo Ph.D. who asserts that life’s gifts are the ingredients of character, depth and compassion.

To affirm these endowments we must face our challenges with binding conviction and a resolute heart.

For in striving, we attain inner freedom and as the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron says, “No matter what the size, colour, or shape is, the point is still to lean toward the discomfort of life and see it clearly rather than to protect ourselves from it.”