Rhonda Burchmore shares agony at watching late sister’s body ‘shut down’

She’s one of Australia’s biggest theatre stars and known for her huge smile on stage, and winning comedy in whatever role she takes on.

But Rhonda Burchmore has been battling devastating grief over the last few years, as she lost both her parents, her beloved sister and her mother-in-law.

Now, the popular 58-year-old Aussie entertainer has opened up on the agony of watching her sister’s body “shut down” – while her brain remained active right up until her tragic death.

Michelle was diagnosed with the cruel neurological disease multiple system atrophy, shortly after they lost their father Jack to Parkinson’s in 2009. The rare disorder affects your movement due to the progressive degeneration of neurons in several parts of the brain. Rhonda described it as “a combination of muscular dystrophy, MS and Parkinson’s all in one”.

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It meant she began to slowly lose mobility, until she was only able to blink or move a finger to communicate with her sister – who she recognised right up until her death in 2015, at the age of 57.

“It’s the sneakiest disease, she began walking with a funny gait, but she had no clue and thought it was a chiropractic thing,” Rhonda recalled. “It’s just the cruellest thing. Everything shuts down.

“The very cruel thing is that there’s no cure, and the saddest thing is that the last thing to go is the brain. She was aware right to the end what was going on. It was the cruellest disease I’ve ever seen, especially as she was so healthy and a beautiful young dancer in her prime.”

An emotional Rhonda added: “She tried three times for stem cell therapy, because you get hope with something like this, but there’s nothing on the cards now.”

Read more: Rhonda Burchmore: ‘Dad hid Mum’s dementia until he died from Parkinson’s’

Michelle was able to communicate with Rhonda right to the end however, and she recalled: “We were incredibly close. She was my best friend in life, my soulmate, and I knew in the blink of an eye what she wanted. She could life her baby finger to say ‘no’, and I could tell what she wanted by looking into her eyes.”

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Theatre star Rhonda is currently touring Australia with her self-produced show ABBA-solutely Fabulous, and credits her love of her work and friends for helping her cope with having to watch her loved ones’ health deteriorate before her eyes.

In fact, her love of Abba goes back years, and she remembers singing it with Michelle round the house as kids.

“We used to sing Abba growing up, we couldn’t get enough of it. Sunday night you didn’t move away from the television. Very fond memories,” she said.

“I never got to tell my sister about my idea for this show, because she would pass just before that. That was a kind of reason also why I thought ‘what do I want to do?’ I can never sit idle for too long.”

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Tragically, Michelle’s disease came as their mum Yvonne was diagnosed with dementia, leaving Rhonda to help care for them both.

“Pretty much straight after my sister was diagnosed, my mum was officially diagnosed with dementia. It was really cruel, my sister’s brain was the only thing that was absolutely alert right to the end, whereas my mum had her mobility and all that but her brain was shot,” she said.

“It is hard, my goodness, dealing with grief in anyway,” she explained. “It’s really hard when you have to put on the happy face, when your heart’s actually aching, but I know in a funny way, whether you believe in angels, they’re watching over me. For me, it’s my best medicine.”

Rhonda was faced with the devastating duty of not only clearing out her sister’s home, but also her parents’ family house. She immediately noticed her mother had begun hoarding, and as her condition worsened, she’d even tried to hide some of her treasured belongings (including her engagement ring) round the house for “safe-keeping” – before forgetting where she’d put them.

She eventually found the ring by complete luck, after it was hidden in a sewing box, where she’d hidden it and forgotten about it.

“She’d hide all the money that we’d given her, it was a treasure trove of things after she’d passed.”

ABBA-solutely Fabulous is touring right round Australia, with a particular focus on smaller venues – allowing people from anywhere in the country to attend. For tickets, show times and venues, visit her official website.

Have you struggled with grief or caring for a sick relative like Rhonda?