What pisses me off: Grooming, noises, germs, Pete Evans and presents 77



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Christine is up to her usual tricks and has shared another list of gripes with us. Do you share any with her?

1. The maintenance I have to do on myself as I age is ridiculous: knee supports, wrist supports, ankle supports, elbow supports, eye drops, wrinkle creams, hair dyes to cover the greys, steam treatments to help my ear problems, waxing, plucking, massaging, glasses, hearing aids, medications for this that and the other. Whoever said 60 is the new 40 is an idiot. By the time I am ready to start the day, it’s time to go back to bed and it pisses me off!

2. This morning I was woken up just before 7am by one of the local council’s very noisy tractor mowers. If I started my mower at that time of day I am sure the neighbours would be up in arms reporting me to the Powers That Be and I would certainly get a fine. It appears there are two different laws in play: one for the council and one for the people and that pisses me off!

3. Having recently conquered the flu, the germ factor is always on my mind and a big one for me is my debit card. It has a pretty disgusting life being swiped through all those different machines, most of them are nothing more than bacteria traps, then having to press the filthy buttons to put your numbers in, I realize I could carry money but that is also filthy. As you can see I have quite the dilemma and I am very torn and the constant confusion of what to do pisses me off!

4. Since Pete Evans started spruiking the Paleo way of life, I find him quite painful, actually one could say he pisses me off! He doesn’t look healthy – he is way too skinny – and looks like he would crack a rib if he sneezed. He needs to throw the bone broth out the window and make himself a milkshake. I was watching his interview with Mike Willesee on Sunday Night. Mike took the 10 week paleo challenge and he is saying how great he feels, well of course you do Mike it’s not rocket science: you stopped drinking all that Coke! If anybody tried to replace my morning coffee with bone broth, I would very quickly put that cup where the sun don’t shine taking them from a bass singer to a soprano in about 5 seconds flat. Bone broth – ugh!

5. The grandies’ birthdays are coming up – they are 4 years apart and their birthdays are 4 days apart. I use to have a bit of a knack for getting both of them the right presents, I would look at it as a challenge. I always agreed to what they wanted but then I would buy something totally different so they got a surprise – I could tell by the big smiles on their little faces that I got it right, except for one year I bought the granddaughter a zombie doll off the internet. I thought it was cool because at that particular time she liked to pretend she was a four-year-old Zombie. Boy oh boy that doll did not go down well at all, it must have looked a bit “too real” because it scared the hell out of her. She beat it to death then threw it over the back fence. On their upcoming birthdays they are going to be 6 and 10 years old and all they are interested in is their iPads, so that pretty much narrows my ideas down to an tTunes Card. How boring for me. Technology has taken all my fun away and it pisses me off!

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Christine Massey

I am a 61-year-old dysfunctional child of a problem mother. I tend to look at the world with the philosophy "Laugh hard, you could be dead tomorrow!"

  1. I’m with you on Pete Evans. He needs to get a life. The presents for grandchildren is another bugbear. Since when do you put your order in for what you want? Wish lists are guaranteed to get my back up. What happened to buying a gift and the recipient being grateful in acceptance?

  2. Too late in life to start that Paleo crap enjoy what time we have left

    4 REPLY
    • Paleo ‘crap’ is a diet of food that does not inflame the body. No more bloating. There are other ways to get a treat other than have white flour. How can you call something crap when you have not tried it. It does not matter to any one else what you eat – but in the meantime – people like my husband and I are feeling much better for eating it and making slight adjustments to what we consume. Eg., yesterday: pork roast and root vegies roasted in ghee. Then blueberry crumble (chopped macadamias, almond meal and grass fed butter) and then cashew cream (raw almonds soaked in water and blitzed a few hrs later in the blender with a date and vanilla – or maple syrup). Now I challenge anybody not to enjoy that, Beautiful, so tasty and comforting. No white flour, no oils, no sugar and no bloating nor inflammation. We are still learning.

    • Severe Bloating can also mean that you are simply wheat intolerant and need to follow a gluten free diet,which is a lot less severe than paleo.

    • I am not wheat intolerant – I have been tested. I am not ‘severely bloated’ it is merely the bloated feeling after cream and sugar and white flour. It is nice to feel nice an clear in the stomach and intestines. i am not here to debate Paleo – rather to say how this experience of finding it has enriched our lives. Paleo in my experience is certainly not severe. I am not an expert on it – Pete Evans is.

  3. Pete Evans has it right. My over 60 husband and I have gone Paleo and we feel maaaaarvellous. We go to the Paleo Cafe at Burleigh and we looooove their beef cheeks on parsley puree – and then have a brownie and a coffee. They are a lovely bunch of youngsters in that cafe. We are having fun making adjusted to Paleo recipes. Can’t relate to the complaint about the 7 AM noise – we get up earlier and enjoy the beautiful fresh morn and take the doggies to the beach for a run. The grooming – she does not have to do it. Use a small squeeze bottle of hand antiseptic gel after the cards and buttons use. Wish lists – well I remember my darling Mum was an awful gift giver – so we found ways around it – and made it joyful anyway. Naaah. Can’t remember the other complaints – don’t relate at all.

    3 REPLY
    • I live at Burleigh & hadn’t heard of the Cafe so must go! & I must go do Paleo too – I’ll be on my own for a few days so can start to adjust my diet. I notice these Paleo folk are just like the cave men must have looked, well, lean & healthy. As to the wish lists, I have found that almost all of my gifts so generously given freely, end up at the Charity shop – or I would be hoarding so many that are really of no use. I would rather have given a wish list that would be really useful to me – just my idea. Vouchers are great to receive though & I give them often. Great article worth reading !

    • I’m not Paleo,but do it some times to loose a bit of weight,have been to the Burleigh Paleo restaurant it’s good for a change..

  4. Totally agree with Merran. I went to a Pete Evans workshop and it was inspiring. My husband and I have been on the Paleo for three months; we have both lost about 15kg and feel so much healthier. Society has started to think of overweight people looking ok – Pete Evans doesn’t look too thin at all. And I too am up by 6 most mornings walking the dogs and enjoying the start of the day.

    6 REPLY
    • I lost 3 and a half kilo in the first week. Without trying. Now for another 15. the food is just fabulous – just takes tweaking your fave meals. I do miss chocolate – but when I want to I may have a little – but not a whole block like I used to.

    • ooohhh. We have made the choc mousse with avocado – and now to make this. Thanks so much. We will certainly make that. Such fun. We can’t believe our luck at finding Paleo at a time my husband was diagnosed with Diabetes 2. He wants to get off all meds – just like my brother did – with diet and exercise. My brother did it in three months. Not sure how long it will take my husband – but we are enjoying the feeling of going Paleo. More energy.

    • Pauline Luke Hines lives near here and we went to a dinner a fortnight ago and he and the chef at Paleo Cafe designed a fab menu – that was it for us. We were in 100% after that. Luke as you may remember was on My Kitchen Rules. So pleased we found this way of life – now we are off to the beach to walk our doggies – then to the Paleo Cafe to have a coffee (husband will have that)- I may have a salted caramel smoothie. (I should have a green juice – hhmm…I may just do that instead).

  5. And as to Pete Evans needing to “get a life”, by the look of it he has a great one.

    1 REPLY
    • Can’t agree more. How can one say a person needs to get a life – when clearly the other person lives a happy life of passion. I want some of what he’s got!!

  6. Yuk bone broth. Give me a nice pumpkin or tomato soup. At 72 I eat a balanced diet luv my chocolate go to the gym four times a week walk on days in between and abou to start Zumba classes.

    2 REPLY
    • Good for you Annette. I must admit I love using bone broth as the basis of my soups. I’m 76 & can’t manage the gym any more but still milk my goats, make cheese , have my chooks & a large organic vege garden. It feels great to stay active.

  7. Totally agree on Pete Evans he looks like a KEN doll with thumbs stuck in his jeans pockets? How can he honestly judge food on MKR does he put it in his mouth? I agree drop the sugar amd processed foods is the best start, when you bear it knock out the coffee and booze and you will see amazing results but where is fun?

    2 REPLY
    • We have coffee on Paleo – and also a wine now and then. Pete cannot change his appearance – Ken doll or not – he still looks a picture of happiness and health and is a lovely bloke to boot. Fun? Who says it is not fun? Crikey?

    • I hadn’t thought about Pete judging food on MKR Ruth. Good pickup 🙂

  8. Love Christine’s posts, agree with her on all fronts except maybe the buying of Grandchildren’s presents, once mine get to the stage where they don’t think our presents are cool I give them money to save or spend on something they do like.

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