A man walks into a coffee shop carrying a big chunk of asphalt under his arm.
At the counter he says, “I’ll take a large latte for myself, please, and one for the road.”
A pair of jumper cables walk into a cafe.
The barista sees them and says, “I’m sorry but I’ll have to ask you to leave. I don’t want you starting anything in here.”
A man goes to his psychiatrist and says, “Every time I drink my coffee, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye,”
The psychiatrist says, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”